Most of us have a natural desire to support others, especially when our support is requested.
When someone approaches you with a problem / concern / challenge / breakdown… their intention usually falls in one of three categories:
#1. They want to enroll you in their story of the problem (not interested in a solution).
#2. They simply want your listening and the space to process outward.
#3. They want your support / guidance / perspective towards a solution.
If you offer unsolicited guidance, it will either fall on deaf ears, be distorted, or you will be resented for it.
When we are sensitive to these distinctions, the process flows a lot smoother. Sometimes we are called to advise (#3), sometimes we are called to hold the space and listen (#2), sometimes we are called to be a loving interruption (snap out of it!) (#1), and sometimes we are called to walk away (#1).
Love and Support have many Faces.
Have a Kick Ass Day!
All original material copyright © 2016 Matthew Spangler